Thanks to that nifty little "Facebook Memories" feature. I came across this post written 3 years ago yesterday:
"Earlier this week a good friend suggested I start writing. My first reaction was of course "no." (Hello Fear) He said "Just write anything see where it takes you." And so, I began. A little every day. About me, my life. Not the occasional Facebook, snapshot with a Rockstar Melissa, but the "I don't want to take my cozy pants off Melissa." The real Melissa. Riveting stuff as you can imagine. The thing is I don't know what I'm writing...a book, a screenplay, a blog, a diary? And I don't exactly have a plot, because it is my life unfolding, and I haven't a damn clue where it (my life/book/screenplay/blog) is going. But I started, and I figure that's got to be worth something."
UPDATE: It wasn't worth much; I stopped writing by the end of the week.
However, a seed had been planted. It was a time-release seed. It finally started blooming last month.
I find myself at a weird spot in life, as do many of us. The pandemic, political polarization, and mistrust of our leaders has left us with an overall feeling of unease and insecurity. Add to those realities, personal losses including the death of my brother and the end of a decades long broadcasting career and I find myself thinking, a lot.
What does it all mean? What's it all for? (If you caught the Prince reference, bonus points!)
Some days I find tiny answers and tiny moments of peace.
Some days I don't.
But, as someone whose entire career involved using my spoken voice to share and express, I've been feeling muzzled.
And so, I again pick up the pen. (Metaphorically speaking, of course. I couldn't find a pen right now if you paid me).
Oddly enough, I find this silent voice louder and more urgent than the "other" voice that I had relied on for so long.
It helps me to sort my own thoughts, and maybe, just maybe those thoughts will resonate with someone else..
Only time will tell. But as I said 3 years ago, I'm doing it "...and I figure that's got to be worth something."