BLOG POST:A Very Single Valentine's Day, Charlie Brown!
Updated: Mar 16, 2021
It's Valentine’s Day, and today I celebrate me. Not in a, “ love yourself until you find someone to love“ type of way. But in a ,“I am so proud of you, all that you are, all that you’ve become, all that you’ve un-become, and all that I know you will become" type of way. Today I see in myself, and say to myself, all the things I wanted someone else to recognize for so long.
Today, not only do I appreciate who I am, I am proud of myself, because I know what it took to become her. It has been a long, hard, often tough-fought road.
Like all relationships, there have been times when, if asked to list my relationship status with myself on Facebook, I would have put, "It's complicated".
For a long time, I didn't l love myself. I thought I was intrinsically flawed, lacking, and unlovable and I found situations and relationships that confirmed this belief.
Today I know for sure, that although there are areas that I need to work on, I am ok and even love-worthy as I am right at this very moment.
Do I still get triggered, have feelings of insecurity, self-doubt and terrifying vulnerability? I do. But these are places that I visit occasionally, and leave as quickly as possible. They are NOT a nice place to visit, and I certainly wouldn't want to live there (although at one point I had settled in).
2020 was a terrible year for so many of us. The last 6 months have been especially hard for me. The death of my brother, the loss of my career, trying to reintegrate into a family life that I haven't been a part of since I was 18, and being in lockdown in a new city where I have not yet had the opportunity to make new friends and find a social support circle hasn't been easy.
I have been isolated and alone, but... I haven't been lonely.
I dug deep. I indulged what I thought were my strengths, developed new skills, talents and passions, and gently, oh-so-carefully examined, dissected and healed my old wounds with the precision of a surgeon and the gentleness of a nurse.
Today, whether you’re in a relationship or not, take a moment to love yourself just as you are.
Think about how far you have come, and if you feel that you have a way to go, know that it's perfectly okay. We all, whether we realize it or not, have a wounded inner child that needs some tending. With compassion, understanding, love and nurturing, that small scared child inside us will not only heal, but thrive. ❤️